Happy Tuesday!

You’ve (ideally) reviewed your progress for the first half of the year.

Touched up on your plans to finish the year strong.

Now, it’s time to act on those plans, but you find yourself tangled in…

• Procrastination,
• Perfectionism,
• Complacency, or
• Quitting too early

and your plans remain unfulfilled.

These 4 behaviors are the most common manifestations of self-sabotage.

Believe it or not, I’ve done all four in the past 8 years.

In tackling them, I discovered:

• Where self-sabotage comes from
• How to tackle the root of self-sabotage

Where does self-sabotage come from?

One of the biggest roots of self-sabotage is fear.

Let’s say you really want to launch a digital product.

You might experience some of these fears:

1) Fear of Failure

“What if no one downloads my product?”

Result:

• You start building the product, then procrastinate on finishing it.
• You believe that if you don’t launch anything, you can’t fail.

2) Fear of Success

“If this product becomes successful, will I ever achieve the same level of success again?”

”What if I can’t cope with the work that comes after achieving success, and burn out?”

Result: You give up on ideas too early—right as you are about to achieve success.

3) Fear of Judgement

“What if people hate or ridicule my product?”

Result:

• You spend hours working on and “perfecting” your product.
• Your perfectionism delays or prevents the product launch.

4) Fear of the Unknown

“What if <something very bad> happens?”

Result:

• Your risk assessment might be inaccurate.
• You might not start building the product at all.

Conquering your fears with ICE

I’ve been using the ICE Framework for the past few years:

• Identify your fear(s) and their stories
• Change the stories and beliefs
• Embody your new beliefs through experiments

I - Identify your fear(s) and their stories

Before you can tackle something, you need to know what that something is.

The 4 fears listed above are just examples. You might have more. So:

1. Identify what your self-sabotaging behaviors are
2. Brain-dump the fear(s) driving each behavior
3. Identify the belief or story behind each fear.

The story or belief could be about:

• Your abilities & lived experiences
• Your familial and social environment

C - Change the stories and beliefs

Question your stories and beliefs rigorously.

Is it a valid concern, or are you making generous estimations of the future?

Either way, turn those stories & beliefs into empowering ones that focus on what you can control.

I delved deeper into this in my previous article on conquering self-doubt.

E - Embody your new beliefs through experiments

Make your new beliefs your new life narrative using deliberate experiments.

Then, let the data speak for itself and guide you on your next steps.

I highly encourage you to read my previous articles about:

• deliberate experimentation
• and “data collection”

ICE Framework in Action

As a personal example, my family doubted my choice of high school.

[Identify]

Their doubts contributed to my perfectionism about my high school GPA.

The perfectionism created a constant feeling of stress and fear.

Notably, I was afraid that a “bad” GPA would:

• Invite more criticism and “I told you so”
• Ruin my chances of progressing to university with a scholarship

[Change]

After some research, I found that getting good grades was just one “game” I could play.

Many people have played a better game, where they:

• Master high-income skills like copywriting or video editing
• Monetize those skills through employment, freelancing, or teaching

Additionally, other people’s understanding of my decisions is not necessary for my progress.

From these realizations, I created new beliefs:

My good GPA is a result of the good habits, mindsets, and consistent effort I’ve cultivated.

There is no need to worry about the results. A “bad” result can be a useful redirection towards something better.

If I continue to hone these habits and mindsets, and exert consistent effort, I can succeed at any game I commit myself towards.

[Embody]

I experimented with “playing a different game” by setting and striving for unconventional goals in university:

🧠 Keep an open mind, always

🥝 Take good care of myself—mind, body, and soul

👩🏻‍🏫 Focus on mastering the concepts and skills, not the grades

Note: There are a lot of frameworks out there to conquer your fears!

As with everything in life, just pick one framework and commit to trying it out.

You can always tweak the framework or try another framework later.