How to win all the time

Happy Tuesday, and happy April!

Four years ago, I was in Guangzhou, China, to participate in a friendly match against representatives from Hong Kong, Taiwan, Macao, Russia, and China.

It would be my final web design and development competition before the international round at WorldSkills Competition 2019. Naturally, I wanted to “do well”—that is, finish as many tasks as possible and, ideally, rank better than 4th place among the six of us.

My coach, however, asked me to focus on these things instead:

• Keeping myself composed so that I don’t fall sick
• Move on from each competition module quickly

In doing so, I realized that she was telling me to:

1. Pursue my own definition of success
2. Lose the battle so that I can win the war

1. Pursue your own definition of success

This has two benefits:

• You focus on eliminating the unique set of obstacles impeding your success, which is something within your control.
• Your expectations come from within, so you feel less pressure to perform and can focus on the process more.

Before the Guangzhou friendly match, I participated in the regional competition in Bangkok, Thailand, in August 2018.

I made several costly mistakes in Bangkok. While some stress is normal, I let it get to me. My period also started right before the competition, adding some cramps and fatigue to the mix.

Not knowing how to handle everything, I eventually developed a churning stomach that cost me my appetite and sleep.

Naturally, I didn’t do well. I ended up being one of the two competitors (among the seven of us from my school) who returned without a medal, pushing years of self-doubt back to the surface.

Aiming for a rank is someone else’s definition of success. It’s also an outcome that is not entirely within my control, and failing to achieve it can worsen my self-doubt.

Thus, by asking me to maintain my composure—regardless of whether I failed a task or whether my period came—my coach was encouraging me to pursue my own definition of success.

Eventually, I managed to handle period fatigue and cramps during the Guangzhou competition. Since it was a win by my own standards, I gained the confidence I needed even though I finished fourth place among the six of us.

2. Lose the battle so that you can win the war

The Pareto Principle applies here: 20% of the opportunities you pursue will give you 80% of the results.

Go all out for that 20%. Use the remaining opportunities to experiment, such as:

• improving your systems
• tweaking your processes
• discerning what you like and don’t like

More importantly, after every experience,

• celebrate your wins
• mourn your losses
• document the feedback you have from others and yourself
• brainstorm actionable “next steps” to help you do better next time
• implement those “next steps” to improve your performance

When my coach told me to shift my focus away from rankings for the Guangzhou friendly match, I knew the competition would be another “loss”. The things I learned along the way, however, helped me cope better during my final competition—especially when my period came right before the first day of the competition.

To summarize how you can win all the time:

1. Pursue your own definition of success. You can’t lose the game if you play your own game.
2. Don’t try to win all the time. See every opportunity as a chance to learn and improve. Take calculated losses on less crucial opportunities while going all-out on more crucial ones.

Thank you for reading! If you found this useful, share it with someone who might need it. Otherwise, I’ll see you next week! <3